I just need somebody to love.

I know that I should be grateful and feel lucky that my mom wants me to spend "family time" with them, and I do want to, I really do, but I just can't. I always find some excuse to push myself away from my family. I can see it hurts my mom, but I just can't stop. Yes, I want to see my brother's face when he looks at the sharks. Yes, I want to, I really do, but I just can't.

What's wrong with me?