There's really nothing I like more than laying wrapped around someone in silence, just looking at them and taking in everything that they are.

e. e. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

I Like This Girl

My girlfriend is pretty rad. <3

I love talking to my girl until all hours of the night.

I'm not unfaithful, but I'll stray

I'm afraid to come out to my mom, not because I think she'll judge me, but because I'm afraid of being placed under stereotypes. When I got my hair cut in november, she goes, "Is this your way of coming out of the closet?" I know that if I come out now she'll just think it's a phase because I cut my hair or vise versa. Same goes for all the other people around me, too. They all made the same lesbian comments and I'm just such a coward that I can't do it. I know they wont care that I'm gay, I'm just afraid of the stereotypes and not being taken seriously.

I play everything off as if it doesn't matter. I make you think that nothing touches me. I'm more than just that facade, or the jokes I make, or the awkwardness I use as an excuse for my uncertainty. I feel it. It affects me. But I can't let you know that.

This Is A Very Long Post

My friend and I were partners for an AP Government assignment. The task was to create a parody of a popular song about the Bureaucracy. This is the final product.

"Bureaucracy" By Kevin and Samm based on "Fireworks" by Katy Perry

Do you ever feel like an agency
Here to make the rules
And enforce policies

Do you ever feel so responsible
For the way we live
Regulating everything

Do you ever feel like you are useless
So unorganized
and completely misunderstood

Do you know that you still serve a purpose
Cause there's a place for you

You just gotta create policy
Through aaaaaaaaagenciieeeeeeees
Just work together like a real fourth branch

Cause you're in the bureaucracy
Come on show em what you're worth
Make 'em go OMG
You're gunna leave em all spee eech less

Cause you're in the bureaucracy
Come on show em what you're worth
Make 'em go OMG
You're gunna leave em all spee eech less

You are nothing more than a waste of space
completely useless go awaayyyyyy
if you only knew how to do your job
always taking time never in a rush

maybe your remedy is to clarify
that you're here to make us more efficient
we all need your help to regulate
and do what D.C. can't

You just gotta create policy
Through aaaaaaaaagenciieeeeeeees
Just work together like a real fourth branch


Cause you're in the bureaucracy
Come on show em what you're worth
Make 'em go OMG
You're gunna leave em all spee eech less

Cause you're in the bureaucracy
Come on show em what you're worth
Make 'em go OMG
You're gunna leave em all spee eech less

Red red tape more than any other paperwork
its getting more and more out of control
and now it's time to take a big chill pill

Cause you're in the bureaucracy
Come on show em what you're worth
Make 'em go OMG
You're gunna leave em all spee eech less

Cause you're in the bureaucracy
Come on show em what you're worth
Make 'em go OMG
You're gunna leave em all spee eech less

Red red tape
More than other paperwork
Red red tape
More than other paperwork

This is me wearing my brother's flannel. He's 6. This doesn't really look like me.

Cee Lo And Gwyneth Paltro Are Going To Do A Duet

Today when I went to take in the mail, I found a letter from Human Rights Campaign addressed to my mom. Naturally I opened it. I was a letter thanking her for donating money to them in their "ongoing quest for equality." It made my day and made me wonder if maybe she would be supportive if I came out.

I wish I was a teenager during the Riot Grrrl era.

I just learned that during the 4 months when I stopped receiving Alternative Press Magazine, Tegan and Sara were on the cover. Are you kidding me? They were on issue number 236 I have issue number 238.

-.-

Why Do I Always Do This To Myself?

I don't do my school work and I don't care. Then I get to school, my teachers ask me why it's late, I give them some transparent excuse, and I feel like shit. But then I still don't do my work. One day every two months or so, I get so fucking stressed that I just break down. All of the guilt, and pressure, and work from the previous weeks comes crashing down on me. Most of the time I can just laugh it off, but every once in a while it hits me really hard. What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm going to fail out of college next year. I've been on the verge of tears for the past three hours. I just want to hold my girl.

TnS

"Might paint something I might want to hang here someday,
Might write something I might want to say to you someday,
Might do something I'd be proud of someday.
Mark my words, I might be something someday."

girlfriend
the word feels foreign on my tongue.
like trying to learn red, blue, and green
at three.