Under the Influence

When ever I look at someone, no matter how well I know them, the first thoughts that pop into my head are their imperfections. Oh, society.

I finally beat Tetris.

Rest In Peace, Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan. You and your music will be missed.

I'm OBSESSED with Tetris although I've never gotten passed level 3. I think it's because the pieces drop faster than I can think.

I'm so dumb.

I can't believe how I acted. Thinking back on it and wondering what could possibly be wrong with me, I realized that my entire persona dissolved around him and I became this silly girl that laughed at what he said, agreed with his opinions, and fooled herself into thinking that he didn't notice. Now I see.

Sad.

Yesterday marked the second time in 12 months that a kid from my town jumped in front of a train to end their life. Although I knew neither of them personally, I still feel it because my friends were their friends.

Life is too short. Don't make other people suffer because you are sad. You can pull through it. I've been there. Please.

R.I.P Lyla Stern 1-12-09

R.I.P. James Clare 12-19-09

Never Have I Ever...

...practiced what I preach.

Je suis fini.

Yeah, I'm finished with the every day posts. They were awkward... 

I really, really, really, really, etc, want to book this IC screening and make friends with the Roadies, and meet Innocent, and become a Roadie. sigh. 

Will and I made $132.04 in half an hour on friday for Schools for Schools. [: 

I watched "The Notebook" again last night. I really want to lay in the middle of the street like they did. I wish my block wasn't so busy.  Sometimes I wish that I lived during the 1800's or pre-Depression 1900's. 

I'm taking a break from listing things about me today to post an actual post.  I want to be so involved with Invisible Children but I don't know how.  I don't know how to be a contact. I don't know how to become friends with one of the roadies. I don't know how to hold a successful fundraiser. I need to learn how to put my shyness aside and do it, not for me, but for the kids in Uganda. 

Twenty/Twenty (Surgery)

Taking Back Sunday is love. [:

I cling to anyone that acknowledges me.

#19

I transfer my self-doubt into a paranoia that other people don't expect me to succeed, either.

Eighteen.

CRACKING MY KNUCKLES AND BITING MY NAILS ARE NOT NERVOUS HABITS. 

Anyway, I don't know how to actually execute the ideas that I come up with.

I watched another Invisible Children LiveStream for about 5 hours again. I love them because it inspires me to see how some random student like me can do something truly wonderful. [:

Seventeen. (Mah b')

Although I've changed more inside within the last six months than throughout my entire life, people tend to ignore these changes. 

neetxiS

I think I suffer from mild paranoia.

Number Fifteen

I'm afraid of consequences and the dark.

I've been watching an Invisible Children LiveStream for the past 4 hours.

Quatorze

I don't have favorite things because I change my mind too frequently.

(Lucky) #13

I think drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol are just stupid facades but when I think about the future I can see myself standing outside in some city ashing a cigarette.